June 25^th will mark the 29^th anniversary of Medjugorje. We thank Our Lady for being with us so long.

The above “jeweled painting” was done by Irena Jakus. Irena passed away within the past year. Please pray for the repose of her soul.

A Gift from the Lord

By Fr. Jozo

   One lovely day in the history of Israel, the figure of Goliath came forth. He was a strong man, proud and invincible. Although Israel was incapable of imagining how it might defeat such a strong warrior, the Lord knew how to do it. He chose a young boy, a shepherd named David. The Lord told him to gather five stones in the river and face the giant, trusting only in God’s help, David went forth; he defeated and killed Goliath.

   Our Lady has chosen you, like David; you who are small, just as you are. She has suggested that you put five stones into your sack, in order to overcome the atheism that surrounds us, that paganistic mentality that is being disseminated and seems invincible. Neither the Church, nor we, are capable of conquering materialism on our own. Our Lady has appeared in Medjugorje to declare that this is possible. Here are her five stones: Prayer, Fasting, the Mass, the Bible and Confession. With these simple weapons we overcome the world.

   Our Lady insists upon prayer. She wept when She appeared upon Krizevac, because Christians no longer pray. Her tears are a medication for you; they fall upon your heart made of stone in order to transform it. Our Lady tells us that to pray means to live as the Church lives. The gifts, the five stones, have not been given to us as a gratuitous perfection, but in order to develop our spiritual potentialities, to cause the growth of the seeds, which will sprout forth if they fall upon fertile soil. Let us take the gift of faith: it is developed if a family prays together, if we learn to live with the Lord. He who prays knows how to love; he who loves knows how to pray. Many families no longer live love because they no longer are united in prayer. This month the leaves have fallen from the trees. Next Spring we will see nature transform and renew itself once again. He who prays transforms quickly. What is the significance of prayer? Let us recall St Augustine’s words, “Man lives if he breathes; prayer is the breath for the Christian.” The Christian who stops praying, dies. Prayer is the first weapon in your knapsack. You must begin praying now so that you may be transformed and raise yourself up and others as well. Priests, parents, everyone, must pray. Prayer is a gift and a principal weapon given to the Church. The Church is neither an idea nor a political party; it is a family that prays, a family that loves. This is the reason Our Lady insists that prayer is needed in order to transform the world.

   The second gift, another stone in your sack, is fasting: from cigarettes, from television, from an evil thought, from a negative project, and from food. Fasting demonstrates your individual capacity to love, and affirms that you are important for everyone. Fasting is medicine and a sacrifice. With fasting, egoism is defeated. He who knows how to fast is capable of hearing his neighbor, of being available for others, and of understanding how to love the entire world. He who fasts sees himself and others truthfully, and is aware of how to cleanse his inner self. Our weakness is nothing if we possess the ability to love. Even our own physical sufferings, if offered to the Lord, are a gift.

   The Mass is the third stone. In May[1988], Our Lady admonished us, “You do not know how to live the Mass.” The Mass is not simply a rite; it is a mystery and a gift of the Lord. It is a sacrament which cannot be comprehended without humility. We are unable to celebrate the Mass without a humble heart, which casts aside the garment of pride. The white garment of the priest is a symbol of humility and of liberation from sin. In the Mass, the Incarnation occurs, the transubstantiation of the bread and wine. This is also a sign of our transformation: from death we are brought to life. The Mass transforms the Christian, transforms the Church, because, with the Mass, Jesus is offered completely to the Church. The Mass is the origin of the Church, the Mystical Body. The Mass-Sacrifice renders the Church a holy family. In the Mass, one is born again, if one’s own life is placed upon the altar as a sacrifice, in the manner of Jesus. We are the drop of water poured into the wine; the Church is united with the Blood of Jesus. Therefore you must not only listen to the Holy Mass, but live it. Without the Mass, the Church does not exist; without it, the Church is an orphan.

   The Bible, which illuminates the path in the dense fog of ideologies, is the fourth stone for the Christian of today. I am sure you know where the salt is, where the flour is, and where to find the sugar in the kitchen. But where is the Bible in your home? When do you read the Bible with your family? The Bible is not one of many books; it is the Christian’s flag. Deprived of the Bible, the Christian is no longer the same person. The Bible is born from the heart of the Lord; it is His Word. Therefore it must remain in first place within the family. It must be set in a place of honor, and that place must be sacred for us. It must be the source of our prayer. The Bible illuminates the Christian’s walk amid doubt and conflicting ideologies today.

   Confession is the fifth stone. Our Lady requests monthly confession of us. I have been informed that in Italy and Switzerland, at many churches, the people rarely confess. This displeases me. The Italians, I state with certainty, are prepared to renew the Church, but they must not neglect Confession. The purpose of Confession is not to recount one’s actions; it is not a psycho-analytical session. It is a sacrament and a source of peace with oneself in the meeting with the Lord. In Confession, I obtain the peace of the Lord, so that I may transmit it to others. A proud person does not know how to confess; humility leads to confession and conversion. To confess well, we must prepare ourselves with fasting and prayer. The proper attitude is that of opening ourselves up before the Lord: “I have brought you my heart. Transform it for me, and give it back to me renewed.” This is what occurs in Confession, which is both a sacrament and a mystery.      

   These are the five stones we must place in our sack as we return home from Medjugorje. Our Lady heals us here. Prayer, Fasting, the Mass, the Bible, and Confession are the true medicines that restore us to health once again, the way through the Red Sea, leading us to the shore where we find peace

At The Hour

By June Klins

   Zaid Jazrawi absolutely glowed, as he stood on the stage of the Totally Yours Conference on April 24^th in St. Charles, IL.  But it was not the kind of glow he had eight years ago, when, as a competitive body builder, he would paint oil on his body to make it shine. It was the inner glow of the Holy Spirit that radiates peace and love and joy.

   Zaid was born in Iraq to a wonderful Catholic family. He even had a great uncle who was a Dominican priest. Zaid said that his parents never pushed religion on his sister and himself, although he knew his mother prayed the Rosary. “We just didn’t grow up that way, because we had grown up under religious persecution.”  In the late 1960s, as religious persecution got tougher in Iraq, Zaid’s father took his family out of Iraq. After spending some time in Germany, they eventually came to the U.S., and made their home in the Chicago area, where Zaid attended school and excelled in sports.    

    After graduation from college, Zaid entered the business world and acquired a hunger for wealth and popularity, and at the same time was getting into bodybuilding. “I was really getting into what the world sells us – that we should have a lot of money and that we should be really popular, and that we should excel at everything we do, etc., etc. –  just the pressure that the world sells us and puts on us. And I started buying into it. I started getting into real estate, and the more I had, the more I wanted to have. I had this hunger to acquire wealth, and in that hunger, I started forgetting about the important things, like my family, my sister, people that were dear to me, my friends. I was starting to get more and more focused on pretty much one thing, that is – myself, and how I can get more money, more wealth –  and my bodybuilding career.”  

   Zaid admitted that he did not know how it happened, because he came from a good family, but somewhere along the line, he stopped going to church. He said his priorities were mixed up, that money came first, then his bodybuilding career, then his “toys” ( motorcycles, cars, etc.), all his properties and all his “stuff,” then his family. He said, “God was not really even on the radar.”

   Zaid said that when he and his wife got married, they did everything backwards, “according to the way the world tells you.” They moved in together before they got married, and then lied to the priest about it. In hindsight, Zaid said, “So, how could a marriage work?  Of course it is not going to work.”  He thought that he needed to make a lot of money so his wife could be happy. Again, in hindsight, Zaid remarked, “We all know that’s not what makes a woman happy…but that’s kind of where I was.”

   Then, one day, Zaid’s life came crashing down, when his wife, who was tired of his egotistical ways, asked him for a divorce. Zaid thought, “What??? What do you mean you want a divorce? You can’t divorce me – do you know who I am? I’m Zaid. Come on, I have 30 buildings and properties, and real estate and all this money. And look at this motorcycle I got. Look at this car.”  In the eyes of the world, he thought he had given her everything, but, he now knows that, in reality, he did not give her anything, because he did not give her love.

   Zaid said that he had always been able to fix anything, and buy anything.  Everything was accessible to him. “For the first time in my life, I found myself not being able to fix this, and I was devastated.”  His wife had her mind made up and she left. Zaid was left in his house, with all his “stuff” and all his properties, his multiple bank accounts, his cars and motorcycles, and yet he felt so alone. “I felt so empty, so alone, lonely, and I couldn’t fix this. And no one could fix it for me. I couldn’t buy it, and I couldn’t fix it.“   At 33 years old, he was so broken and so wounded.

   “I was getting ready to get my pro status, and compete professionally as a bodybuilder. I was this big, gigantic… I was bench-pressing cars and dead-lifting houses…but I was crying, sitting in my house all alone.  I felt so weak and helpless and alone.”  A concerned friend suggested that Zaid go to Medjugorje. He retorted, “Medja-who? What?”

   After thinking about it, he decided that, even though he could not pronounce it, maybe he should go there. Zaid laughed as he recounted his first days of his pilgrimage to Medjugorje. He looked so out of place as a bodybuilder, especially when most of the other pilgrims in his group were older women with rosaries in their hands. He quipped, “And I’d be willing to bet they were all probably praying for me – which is why I am here before you today. Thank you to all those ladies, because they saved me.”  Amidst applause, he continued, “So, all you ladies out there, little old ladies, they’re the most powerful ones. You got to look out for all those ladies out there who are praying the Rosary for guys like me – it works!”

   Zaid described the bus ride along the cliffs, and how out of place he felt when the group began to pray the Rosary as they approached Medjugorje. “I was so embarrassed. I thought, ‘You don’t pray in front of people. You don’t pray as a group.’ I felt so out of place. This was not for me.”

   The first two days in Medjugorje, Zaid tried to avoid the group. He climbed the mountains to stay in shape. He was thinking, “Where are the night clubs?”  He had taken dress clothes with him, because he had thought he was going on a “cheer me up” party trip to Europe. “But we were going to church and listening to priests speak. I thought, ‘This is not for me.’“  On Cross Mountain, Zaid had what he called his “first real conversation with God.”  He said it went something like this: “My God, if You’re really real, and I’m Your son, and Jesus is Your Son, that means He’s my Brother. That makes us brothers. I probably don’t deserve anything because of the way I have squandered everything that You’ve given me, and the way I’ve lived my life so selfishly, but I’m here and have about seven days left, so I’ll give you a chance….Reveal Yourself to me. And if not, we’ll go on our separate ways, and You can have Your life, and I’ll have mine.”

   The next day, Zaid went with the group to Fr. Jozo’s church in Siroki Brijeg. He was so bored, and thought, “I don’t want to be here. Is there a coffee shop? Maybe I can get a beer.”  Then Father finished his talk and said he was going to give everyone a blessing. Zaid had never had an experience like that before, so he decided to stay. When pilgrims began resting in the Spirit, Zaid wondered what was happening. He thought perhaps they did not drink enough water or eat enough potatoes. When his sister fell backwards, he called her a “klutz.” But as Fr. Jozo blessed him, Zaid admitted that he felt something he had never felt before  –  not with any of the women he dated or the partying with NFL football players and the like. “I started feeling what I know is the Holy Spirit, and it was like electricity, warmth, the most enormous kind of love that you can ever imagine – peace!”  He started crying and couldn’t stop. “So, now picture this – big bodybuilder, athlete, strong guy…sniff, sniff, sniff.  And I had a rosary in my hand. I became one of those older ladies, kissing the rosary!”

   Zaid made his way into the pew and what happened next would change his life forever. “I kept crying, and as I looked up, I saw like a movie screen – that’s the only way I can explain it. My life was flashing before me….I saw my life and my sins, and it was not a pretty sight. It was a really, really ugly sight. I was trying to see something that I would be proud of, and there was really nothing there, because everything I did, I did it in my name, and I did it for me…I wasn’t doing anything for Jesus or Mary or God the Father or the Holy Spirit or the saints. Everything was about Zaid. I was kind of like my own idol…I was devastated. I was crying some more, and now I have a puddle underneath me…I was just devastated –  the sins that I saw.” 

   “I’ll give you two examples. One thing that I saw was my Mom, and how I would hurt her. I was just so busy trying to make my millions, I just didn’t have time to talk to her. She would call me up…I didn’t have time for her. I was on my way to the gym to work out and I’d be short with her…God showed me how I hurt her, not only in that moment, but for the rest of the day and maybe even the rest of the week.”

   “Another thing I saw was the women I disrespected, and how much that hurt them, not only in that moment when I was dating them and doing everything backwards, but how I would hurt them, and how they would have to carry that with them for the rest of their life, and into their relationships in the future, and potentially their marriages, and how damaging that was. And God wasn’t really holding back. He was showing me all of this in a movie. It was a nightmare. I was looking for the remote control to turn it off!”

   “In this experience I saw the way God saw me. There was so much pain in my heart and so much remorse. I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry.  I’m sorry. Forgive me.’  I felt so ashamed and I felt so small.”  After I saw all my sins and the devastation I had caused to so many people, I heard an internal voice that I had never heard before (what I believe to be God The Father), and it said, "This is the gift of your life, the gift I have given you and this is how you have repaid me!"

Zaid then said that he realized how what he had received was one of the greatest gifts. “It’s the hour of judgment.”

   Zaid said he was led to confession and some wonderful priests, who helped him, and he came to realize why, at the end of the Hail Mary, we pray, “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. “That’s the hour!  I got that hour – the gift of the Illumination of Conscience, which I believe we’re all going to get at some point or other, whether before our death or after our death, but we’re all going to see our soul the way it really is, and we can’t escape it. And I was given a great gift, and I thought, ‘I can change that hour!!!’ I can make it better. I can make amends. I can ask for forgiveness for all the people I’ve hurt. I can say I’m sorry to my Mom. I can start doing things to make that hour look better.”

   Then Zaid asked all of us to close our eyes and try to imagine what our “hour” would look like. He challenged us to do that once a week, or at least monthly. He also challenged us to think about three people we need to forgive or to ask forgiveness from, and to pray for them, offer up Masses for them, and then make amends with them. He said, “I assure you,  that will make your hour better.

   Winding down his talk, Zaid reflected, ”I got to experience that peace that can only come from God, in that pew. I was looking for it everywhere else – in all of my possessions and cash and money and world power and success and recognition and awards – the list goes on and on.…In that pew, I experienced with the Father, His immense and overwhelming Love, and then His Judgment (The Hour of Judgment as the Just Judge), and then His Mercy and His Forgiveness. So, in a sense, THE HOUR experience consisted of 3 parts - LOVE (HE LOVED ME), JUDGMENT (HE CONVICTED ME), and DIVINE MERCY (HE FORGAVE ME). And I’ll tell you what – it’s pretty cool that He can take a schmuck like me who was so into himself for 33 years, and then turn me around.” 

   “I remember at the end of the pilgrimage I didn’t want to leave Medjugorje. But, what I did was, I promised to help give Our Lady back what She’s given me. She gave me this great gift, this new life. And so I ask, ‘What can I do to help You?’…  Our Lady has put some amazing people in my path, some wonderful priests. She will do that for each and every one of you. I really believe that with my whole heart, that every single one of you is so special to Our Lady.”

   Zaid briefly went through some spiritual exercises, using the book The Life of Mary as Seen by the Mystics. Then he spoke briefly about the organization he founded in 2003, whose purpose is to bring together young adults to exciting spiritual and educational events across the U.S. He has led many pilgrimages to Medjugorje.

   Zaid later shared with me that his first marriage was annulled, and he would be getting married on June 12, the feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary. He was excited to let me know that the wedding would take place in Our Lady of the Assumption Church in Siroki Brijeg, the very same church where he was given the great gift of that hour! 

Post Script to My Story

By Zaid Jazrawi

   What I received during The Hour was an Illumination of Conscience, and I feel part of my ministry is to prepare people for their hour, when their conscience will be illuminated and they will see their soul as God sees their soul.  This is not something I take very lightly. Another revelation I had during The Hour is an infusion of the truth of the Church and the sacraments.  For example, I did not believe it was really Jesus in that little piece of bread, and in an instant I knew that it was a piece of His heart containing His DNA.  Furthermore, it is not only His DNA, but His Biological Mother Mary's DNA as well.  They cannot be separated (Please see  www.scientificamerican.com and search "J Lee Nelson”).      

   Another example is confession -- how powerful, cleansing, and necessary this sacrament is for our soul, and God, our Father, in His goodness, gives us this gift through His Church to keep us pure and whole.  No matter who the priest is -- it is truly Jesus in there, and so I went to Confession immediately after my experience At The Hour.  It is one of the most important of all the sacraments, as it gives us humility to humble ourselves and rely on community in God's Church --  His endless Mercy and His warm embrace through the love of another human being, and the words of absolution by the authority of the Church, which Jesus entrusted to Peter after Christ's death and resurrection.  I had not been to confession in over 20 years and I knew I had to go.  I thought I would kill the poor old priest who could barely walk.  After he heard me pour my heart out, for what seemed like an eternity, all he did was stand up and, with a tear in his eye, he hugged me and said, "Welcome home!"  Now what do you say to that?

St. Felix of Cantalice and Fasting

By Carolanne Kilichowski

   While preparing for a reflection on the life of St. Felix of Cantalice, for his feast day, May 18, I discovered some wonderful facts that I wish to share.  He was a man who loved the Lord with all his heart and wanted very much to please Him! When he was a little boy, he learned that the Fathers of the Desert did not eat meat or bread, as a sacrifice for God.  He swore to do the same, once he was older and able to fast.

   One day, as he was plowing the fields, the young oxen pulling him went out of control, and Felix found himself under the plow, with not even a scratch! He took this as a sign from God that he was saved for a great purpose. He even heard the voice of an angel at one point, telling him to serve God. He joined the Capuchins, and they designated him a questor -a beggar to go about Rome to obtain food for the friars as well as the poor of Rome. 

   Felix found himself in kitchens with fresh baked breads, with aromas that would tempt the best of natures. He was given the best fresh baked bread along with sausages and meats that had strong aromas, to carry in his large sack to take to the monastery. As an old man, he used to joke about his twist of fate, “I never wanted to touch bread again, but the Lord sent me into every bake shop in Rome, and I have done nothing else but lug bread on my shoulders.”

   I could not help think of Medjugorje and the message of fasting on bread and water. How many of us face a problem on a Friday or Wednesday with Our Lady’s request to fast?  Felix had other ways to sacrifice that God was calling him to. Just the fact that he had to go about begging was a big penance in itself!  

   When you are having a problem on fast days, ask St. Felix to help you. He knows how difficult fasting can be, and he will help you to obtain the grace to get through the tough times.  I invite you to discover more on his wonderful life. 

  Lost Love

By Virginia Hogue

  “What do I do now that I have begun a new chapter in my life, since my sons have left the nest?  There must be more to life than existing,” I thought.  I began to remember my once great love, and how I didn’t have time all those years for anything except children and work.  I knew I had to find my love again. Yet, after many years of searching, my love was still missing. The church I attend has Perpetual Adoration, so I made a decision to pray one hour Adoration for nine days … a novena.

   I noticed a change in my attitude after completion of the novena.  I began to think that wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.  During Mass that morning, I decided to continue to pray an hour of Adoration daily.

   After Mass I followed the priest to his office to ask him to hear my confession.  As the result of many hours of holy prayer and a good confession, I was swimming in God’s graces.  When I left the priest’s office that day, I went to a Catholic book store, looking for a book on saints.  While browsing through the store, a book about Medjugorje caught my eye -- the story of the apparitions of the Blessed Mother.  I purchased it, and then went home to read it.  I was fascinated by the accounts of the Blessed Mother’s visits to the children.  I couldn’t put the book down.  It was around 3:00 AM when I finished reading the story of Medjugorje.

   Then the Holy Spirit came over me.  I began to feel the overpowering change in my soul.  The Holy Spirit let it be known to me, in my heart, that I was to organize a prayer group in my parish, and I was to make a pilgrimage to Medjugorje.  Within a year I completed both of the Holy Spirit’s requests.

   When I would attend church, after my experience with Adoration and the Holy Spirit, people would say to me, “You are glowing -­­- what’s your secret?”  I knew I was glowing -- I could feel it from my soul.   I would reply, “At last I have found my lost love, my God”.

Confession in a Coma

By Sister Emmanuel

    Here is one of many incredible stories that Fr. Tim Deeter shared with me from when he was in the States:
   "Every day I would go and visit the Catholic patients in the hospital behind my parish, and there was one woman who was always on the list, because she was in a coma. Well, one day I had this huge list of patients, and I looked at it and I said, 'Oh, I've got to cut a couple of these people out. Maybe the woman in the coma, she doesn't need to see me. She can't talk to me anyhow, and so I'll just cut her off the list.' But as I went around and visited everybody I felt guilty, and
thought I'd better go and see her. So I went and sat by her bed and went through the whole routine, 'It's Fr. Tim. It's Tuesday.' And at the end I sat there and I said to myself, 'This is really stupid. She can't respond to me, I'm wasting my time. I'm not going to come anymore. I'm going to cross her off my list.'
   "And all of a sudden a thought came to me which was not my own: 'This woman needs absolution from her sins.' And I thought to myself, 'You're right. This woman hasn't been able to go to Confession; she's in a coma.' And so I leaned forward again, and I said to her, 'Any sin that you've committed, that you've not had forgiven, present it now to the
Lord in your mind. Give your sins to the Lord, and then I'll say an Act of Contrition with you.' And so I waited, then I said the Act of Contrition, then I gave her absolution. I sat back in my chair, and the woman sat up immediately from her bed. She didn't look at me, she looked right past me at the Cross that was on the wall. She held out her arms wide, and with a beautiful smile on her face she said, 'Jesus!' and fell back and died. I whipped around to see if Jesus was there, and He was, but not for me to see. He had come for her, at my command, through the sacrament of Penance, and the woman went with Him in great joy!
   "So these sacraments are important things. If God is calling you to the sacraments, don't put them off for other things, because you might not be alive the next day!"

                                                                 Children of Medjugorje, www.childrenofmedjugorje.com,  April 15, 2000 report

God’s Love Letters to the Dying

By June Klins

    A lady once told me that her daughter, a speech therapist who works with the elderly, related that, while working with a man who was barely responsive one day, she spotted a Bible in his room. She asked him if he would like her to read from the Bible, and he nodded yes. So she did. Later, the nurses all questioned her, "What did you do to Mr. so-and-so? He has really perked up!" So the therapist decided to do this with other patients. When another man she read to perked up, she found out that, years ago, he was an evangelist, and what she read to him was his favorite verse from Scripture! She has passed this on to other therapists.

   It is a little known fact that Pope John Paul II, on his deathbed, asked that he Bible be read aloud to him – specifically, Psalm 119, the longest of the psalms,  

Medjugorje